Well, the boy is now a man but he will forever be my baby brother.

(l to r) Morgan & Madison Means

We got Madison the day after my Junior Prom in 1998. She was the cutest ball of fur that I had ever seen and she had the uncanny ability to make you smile just looking at her. The summer of '98 I lost my Grandma and I remember that we took Madison over to Grandma's house when she was sick and she would just ooohhh and aaahhh over Madison.

 Madison grew up to be such a little Miss Priss, a danity little thing that knew she was the queen of our house. The only time she wasn't polite was when it was dinner time. She was a terribly rude beggar.

When Madison was about 2 we got Morgan. As much as I know Morgan got on Madison's last nerve they were inseparable. Where Madison was the ruling and magestic queen, Morgan was the awkward, unladylike princess. The Queen and Princess of our house.

About two months ago we found out that Madison had a heart murmur. She had to take some medicine and the vet told Moma and Daddy that she would eventually die from congestive heart failure. Eventually came Friday morning and our family has lost a bright spot that was in our lives for eight precious years.

Daddy picked her up from the vet and they had her in a wooden box with a cross on the top. He buried her under a tree in our backyard and when I go home in July we are going to plant a little flower garden over her grave; the grave of our "sweet little puppy girl".

As I write this I know she was just a dog and that people are dying daily…but as silly as it is, she was such a part of our family and a peice of me aches for her. When I go home in July there will only be one "puppy girl" bounding around my feet welcoming me home. There will only be one to jump into my lap and to follow my Moma around wherever she goes.

She will be missed in so many little ways that I won't even know them until I am faced with them individually. Her loyalty and devotion to her humans was priceless. She was priceless!

This picture was taken on my way home back in March. I think it captures so much of my home in Georgia. The beauty and familiarity of the peach trees with the pride that the picture of the flag brings, even when it is on a stack of hay. That same beauty, familiarity, and pride is seen in my family.

As I have continued to get used to being a part of my family away from them I have come to the realization that while the house we shared will always be home to me, my family is my home. They could move to China and while visiting them, I would be in foreign terrain, I would still be home. 

 Happy Memorial Day, Daddy! Thank you for instilling such a pride in me for my country and for my family. I am so proud to be your daughter! I love you!

My Moma is in town this week and she brought our friend Cheryl with her. Tonight we went to The Cheesecake Factory and on the way home we found this building.

I had to turn around to take the picture and both ladies just laughed at me!

In honor of being homethe past two weekends, here are 13 of my favorite things of home.

1. Madison; we got our first little Shih Tzu my junior year in high school. She is our dainty little queen and I miss her trusting eyes when I am not here.

2. Morgan; we got her in my sophmore year in college and while we are not supposed to have favorites, she is mine. She may not be as dainty as Madison and sure she is a little chunky, but that is what endears me to her.

3. The openness of that house. The living room just goes on for days. I never realized how big it is, but after six months of 538sq ft. it looks BIG!

4. The easy and playful banter I have with my Moma and my sweet brother. I get their jokes and their senses of humor and they get mine.

5. The familiarity of the terrain.

6. Being in the presence of my whole family at the same time.

7. Lazy Saturday evenings with friends, family, and steak! Yumm!

8. The sound of nothing but crickets. Just say no to delivery trucks!

9. Sitting around the kitchen table on a Sunday afternoon with my family, laughing till I cried.

10. The couch…it is so comfy!

11. The weather…last Saturday it was chilly and overcast. It was just one of those days that was perfect to curl up on the comfy couch and watch a sappy Hallmark movie.

12. I get to be Kathryn in every way that counts.

13. Even when I’m wrong and crazy they love me!

So…it has been a while! Sorry for that.

The past several weeks have been pretty rough emotionally in Kathrynland. No particular reason really, I was just a little crazy and I tend to shy away from writing for the masses while I hash things out in my own mind.

Home was great, the wedding was great, the conference was great, and getting to bring part of my new world into my old world was awesome!

One of the things that struck me on the last trip home was that where the Lord has me in my life no longer fits with where He had me. I think a lot of growth and healing came from that revelation. I do not fit in the things of home any longer. Home being Columbus, GA not the place a grew up with my family…I will always fit there.

I don’t really know how to explain it, all I know is that I came home to my Florida home more excited about where God has me than ever before. I think that when I moved I only had a tunnel vision for Exodus. God brought me here for Exodus…true, but He also has me here for the people I will meet and the church I will plug into. He has me here because there is a ministry at First Baptist that only I can fill and I can’t wait to find out what that is.

In the meantime, big things are happening with Exodus and I am so excited! The annual conference is coming up this summer and we are preparing for that which is fun in a controlled chaos kind of way. There are also several other trips coming up that we are excited about so prayers for travel would be very much appreciated!

More to come later!

Updated 3/24/06 11:14pm

One of my pictures from last weekend…

 

Yesterday I received the most fun pre-birthday present ever!

My sweet moma boxed up birthday napkins, plates, cups, a table cloth, streamers, and balloons. Underneath that fun stuff was the best part…A birthday cake mix. Moma measured out the salt and baking soda and sent all of the dry ingredients of my favorite cake; Red Velvet cake. Even though I have to make it, I know that she wants to and that is what matters.

And the best part about it all…there is another box coming on Tuesday with presents! She said that she played a little game with herself to see exactly how many things she could wrap and she made me promise her that I will call her and open my presents with her on the phone.

She would hate that I am letting the world know how cheesy she is but it is her chessiness that endears her to me. I am proud of her chessiness!

I love you, Moma! And Daddy, thank you for your part in it all as well!

On Friday I did what I’ve been dreading…I got a Florida license. I drug myself down to the DMV and I made it legal. I am now a legal driver in Florida as well as a registered voter. The woman who was helping me asked me for my Georgia license and I asked her if I would get it back and she looked at me funny and said, “Ma’am, you can’t have two licenses.” Well, as I handed it over to her I started to cry and when she handed me my Florida license I thought to myself, “I’m really moved!”

As I shared this with my neighbor he said, “Aww, you’re a real Floridian now.” I quickly told him that I certainly was not, that I would always be a Georgia Peach and no piece of plastic would ever change that.

Simply one more part of saying good-bye.

Then this morning at church the Lord reminded me of my feelings of disconnection with the Body of Christ and He made it very clear what I was to do about it. I was to become a member of First Baptist Church of Orlando. Thus began an inner dialouge that went something like this…

“I want you here, baby girl!”

Lord, I know, but Edgewood is my Home!

“I know, and Edgewood will always be your Home, but I want you here, now!”

But, what if Edgewood stops sending me their weekly newsletter. I can be an active part of this church and not be a member. Why do I have to do something so permanent so early.

“You have been here for five months! I want you here…just do it! Don’t think about anything but that. I want you here!”

So, instead of arguing any further I went to the front and I met a woman named Donna who walked me through the process. She was so great and patient with me as I boo-hooed my way through my story.

For 24 years I atteneded Edgewood. 24 years worth of laughter, tears, growth, songs, friendships, Sunday School classes, Bible Studies, choir practices, Praise Band practices and the list could go on and on. Edgewood is as much my home as the house I shared with my parents and my sister and brother, and they will always be my family. But facts are facts and the fact is, I am not in Columbus, GA anymore and I need that Home and Family here in Orlando. I am a relational being and I need relationships here. I need laughter, tears, growth, songs, friendships, Sunday School classes, Bible Studes, choir practices, and Praise Band practices here.

For some reason this is so much harder than I thought it would be; moving my letter of membership. Somehow it feels as if I am betraying the church of my youth by becoming a member of First Orlando. I think that is what the enemy wanted me to believe so I would continue to feel disconnected but I know the sound of my Abba’s voice and it was clear this morning.

Please join me in prayer that I would find a place of my own in this enormous church. That I would force myself out of my comfort zone and plug into the singles ministry and the music ministry. It is so hard to do this when you are by yourself and it would be so easy for me to remain a wallflower and get lost among the masses, but I know that is not why the Lord wants me at this church. Please pray that I am brave enough to find out why He wants me here.